Tired......

I'm very tired.... not only on physically but also mentally... Didn't sleep well these few days. But this is not the main cause that made me feel tired... Too many to think, too many to handle, too many to listen, too many to do.... SIGHHHH......

Beside feeling tired, I also feel bored... again, no passion for anything, everything. I need something to re-install PASSION into my life... My life is hopeless... I can't have hope on anything, anyone... Because, I always get disappointment. Why we have HOPE on something, on someone? I have no idea.. but I know that I always HOPE HOPE HOPE... and always end up with... NO NO NO. After so many disappointment and hurtful facts, I started to feel tired... and I no longer want to put any HOPE on anything, anyone.

Sometimes, I really wish that there is someone to tell me what to do so that I won't feel disappointed and hurt anymore or maybe tell me how to have a HAPPY LIFE, HAPPY RELATIONSHIP, HAPPY FAMILY, HAPPY CAREER.... I know it is impossible. We have to work for everything we wanted in our life. However, passion will be faded off by disappointment. Time always tell the truth... but how long it takes to tell? We'll never know. I used to believe that EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU DO HAVE THE HEART... Maybe I'm too naive.

I know that I'm not the only one in this world, I can't have anything just because I WANT IT. I'm very tired.... Can I just leave my head in a box and bury it under a big tree? I don't want to think, I don't want to bother anything around me, I don't want to HOPE, I don't want to know anything... just don't give a damn. I'm exhausted.

I'm still exhausted even though I'm just back from Redang not long ago. This is a mentally issue. Sooner later I will go crazy. I think I need alcohol.. give me 2 cans of beer, please. It's short term but at lease I feel better on that moments. I hope I will feel better after 2 cans of beer. Then, I can have a better sleep.. with beer in my cells.

I'm very tiredd..... extremely tired.... even a break couldn't help me.... HELP ME!!!