Better me......

I heard about KARMA alot recently..... I wonder, do I have any good KARMA?? I'm not a bad person I think... But I hardly do charity... emmm... I will curse when I'm driving... I will angry when I encounter something unfair... I will angry when I didn't get what I want... I'm not bad but I did something that some people said might bring bad KARMA. Good KARMA bring you good life while bad KARMA bring you a bad and suffer one.

My life never been good and easy... My friend has calculated my life with my birth date and time... It tells that my life will be better from this year onwards. Being frank, I never be very happy in work, relationship and etc. I'm kinda satisfy with what I'm having now, I have no idea why, but I'm just feel I'm happy with what I'm having now.

I used to have no motivation to work... No matter what job I'm having... I will try to lazy off by taking MC or whatever. But, I feel that my attitude towards working life has changed since this year... I didn't find excuses not going to work anymore, I wake up happily every morning and get myself ready for work... It's such a big change on me. Amazing.

Then I also found that I'm not so "HOLD ON" some principles of mine.... at least, I won't scold people when I saw something is messy in my room. Amazing.

Life is always hard for me...... No matter in my career, my family, my relationship and etc... Maybe it's myself that brought me into such a hard life.

I do hope, my life will be easier and better for myself and also the people around me.

Before asking for better life, I shall start from a better me... It's not easy for me... I will try.

Must watch!!

New Heroes are here to save the world.

I have finished Season One... very interesting and you will never get enough for an episode a day.... Must watch it if you do have time. It can be downloaded online.. but I have no idea as I'm only responsible for watching.... :P

Very nice series beside THE L WORD. It's very seldom that I watch series... but these 2 attracted my attention. Give a try.. it worth for your time.

Liars.......

I think, I’m really a stupid person that is so easy to be fool and bluff on. Let’s look at the below cases :-

Case 1
Mr.T – Staying near my area, same age with me, a business man on Furniture business. He called me every night, told me that he likes me very much, asked me to be his gf and bla bla bla. He used to call me out for TEA/ COFFEE almost every night but I hardly go out with him because I do not feel comfortable with him. I do not know why I feel so but he gave me such feelings that he got some MOTIVE or BAD INTENTION in him. I’m not sure. As usual, this type of guys won’t waste their time on the fishes that obviously not hooked. After few months, he message me on MSN MESSENGER and told me that he is married. FEW MONTHS!!?!?!?!?!? It’s so obvious that I’m da stupid one.

Case 2
Mr. S – Another one who been going after me for.. almost a year till I got a new relationship. Why I didn’t choose him? Because he always try to TOUCH me!! YUCKSSS!!! Lost contact for less than 6 months till today…. Again, he MSN me and asked me…."HOW ARE YOU?". As a polite girl as me, sure I replied…"FINE! WHAT ABOUT YOU? MARRIED?". Then here come the reply…"YES". Fainted!!!!!! I said…"REALLY?? CONGRAT WOR!!! NOWADAYS THE PEOPLE REALLY HIGH SPEED YA!!". Then got no reply from his side already…

Case 3
Mr. Y – He was just break up with his gf when I know him. He seeks for my companion always when he feel lonely. I where got so free to company him as I got my own life mah!!! I didn’t contact him after awhile as I’m afraid that he will take me as rebound, this is terrible. After a month, he sms-ed me and asked… HEY! REMEMBER ME? HOW ARE YOU?. Again, I said…." FINE AH! WHAT ABOUT YOU?" he said…. "I GOT GF LIAO!!". I replied…"O!!! CONGRAT THEN. IT’S REALLY FAST." "YA!! BUT WE GOT A PROBLEM HERE/" "O???? SETTLE IT THEN." "IT’S VERY DIFFICULT TO SETTLE. SHE IS A CHRISTIAN AND SHE DON’T LET ME TO FUCK HER." …… -____-" [What the hell to do with me then??] "O….OK." "YOU WANNA BE MY MISTRESS??"… my reply…"FUCK OFF!"

And more little tiny incidence that really made me think whether I’m so stupid or not.

I should train my brain to be more alert on these LIARS!!!!

Datin Face......

Emmm.......

Got few people told me that the ME in this photo looks like Rich Man's Wife or Datin. Be frank.... I DO WISH I AM!!!! :P

Too bad lah.... I'm not at all....

Wowwwww... Imagine, what a life I will have if I'm a richie's wife??? First thing I will do is.... RESIGN!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA..... Then I will take a break like... 6 months, travel anywhere I wanted to.... do as much yoga as I want.... shopping as much as I want.... go for Facial at anytime... lazy to do your hair??? go saloon lah!!! go spa... go massage... O!!! maybe I should go for cooking class... Kakakakakaka....

And I no need to droll at the Sony Ericsson K800i like now.... RM1000.00 only eh!!!! what to worry??? Eyed on the diamond pendant??? Buy lah!!!! Need a new pair of Prada shoe??? just take whichever you like lahhh.... need a new LV coin purse??? aiyooo... so cheap!!!! :P Ha???? Go MNG Sales??? aiyyoo... not my style... LOLZ!

YOH!!!!! I want to be a richie's wife lahhhh....

I do love you.......

There is this day that both of my Financial Controller and myself were kinda free and bored... So, we chit chat and busybody about each other. She told me about one of her ex-colleague that is very fierce and bad temper.

The girl is much more fierce and bad temper than me, at least, I won't scold my bf on the phone in front of everyone. She told me that she actually guide this girl slowly to control her temper.. and now she is so much better and well control on her temper. I'm not sure it's real or not as I do not know this girl. But one thing she said to me and it does wake me up immediately....

" The one we love most is always the one we hurt most... much more than anyone around us.."

I always hurt someone that loves me. Because I always let my temper goes to someone who close to me, care of me and love me. I always take everything for granted. I always expect something from those who care of me. But, please believe that... I DO REALLY LOVE YOU.

I promised myself that I will control my bad temper... and I do believed that I'm better on controlling my temper. My stubborness may hurt you and make your life difficult... but please believe me that... I DO LOVE YOU MUCH.

I know that I'm not good enough to be a GOOD GIRL.... but please believe me that I always wanted to make your life happier and easier. Maybe my way is wrong.. maybe my tone is sucks.. maybe my face is not pretty enough.. but please believe me that.... I DO LOVE YOU.

If not.... I won't cry after I realised that I did hurt you badly.

Arghhhh...... kill me pleaseeee......

Just blogged about the Mr.A-2.... here come the Mr.A sms-ed me and told me that he going to break up with his lovely sweety gf and ANNOUNCE to me that he now has the right to go after me as he is single and available.

F**K!!!!!!!!!!! Pleaseeee.... kill me!!!!!

I didn't reply his sms... he keep calling my mobile and I didn't answer.

Why can't he just leave me alone and let me just live peacefully?

Maybe only I will not hear from him after I die.

A finger......

A doctor who serving at the Africa told this story through an article.

He is an UN doctor who serving in Africa. One day, he is actually examining a patient but heard a baby cried very loud and for long time. The nurses trying hard to comfort the baby, but still he cry non-stop... kicking hard.. and doesn't want to drink his milk. So, this doctor went over and have a look at the baby... the baby is actually kicking his legs hard... hands grapping in the air.. trying to catch something. He let the baby hold on his finger... immediately, the baby calmed down and didn't cry. Then only everyone realised that the baby actually need some security... just a finger, that calm him down and made him feel secure.

A finger, is nothing much for us... letting the baby hold on our finger.. bring him so much happiness and sense of secure. If everyone of us willing to let others hold on our fingers for a minute... how much happiness can we bring to others? If everyone also willing to help those who need help... how many people will feel that actually the world does care about them??

Yes, we may not helping much... but at least, we are trying to help. I should do more charity... not only to improve my own karma, but also make this world feel the CARE. I feel so sad when I actually watch the NEWS on tv tonight... murder, rape, baby been buried alive, father killed son... what else can we have??

Sighh... the world is very sick... our society is terribly sick.... our people no longer have what we call....HUMANITY.

Very stupid me......

I wonder why most of the BAD MEN I ever encountered always come back to me and trying to be NICE and FRIENDLY to me. Am I a BAD WOMAN?

Beside Mr. A, I knew this Mr. A–2.. Oh ya…Another Mr. A… suckssss…. Mr. A-2 is another terrible person I encountered few years back. At first, normally these guys will being very sweet, very lovely and very caring… then everything will turn around when you thought everything is going smoothly.

This Mr. A-2, not only wanted me to drive to his place almost every day after work but also included meal delivery. His place is not near, OK? It’s at the SHAH ALAM… gosh!!! Fucking stupid me did it for him because I’m stupid.

One night, I was driving to his place and he is damn hungry, he called and asked where I am. When I reached his place, he asked me why take so long time to DELIVER his dinner. I was so angry and told him that.."Hey, please be considerate a little bit. I reach home by 7pm, cleaned myself and get ready by 730pm, go buy dinner and wait for the food to be ready by 7:45pm, start my journey to your fucking far house by 8pm… mostly I can reach there is around 9pm which included the traffic jam in the Federal Highway. What you want me to do? Fly?" He is so unhappy because I actually argued with him. He took his dinner unhappily and I don’t bother because I’m angry too.

What is he taking me as? MAID? DELIVERY SERVICE COMPANY? He was supposed to go my place that night, and I was waiting for him to get ready and move. When it’s around 11pm, he still playing his stupid computer game. So, I asked " Are you going to my place?" He looked at me and said "No." Fine… I stood up and walk to the door and wanted to leave.. he yelled "Go lah! Go lah! I don’t even care of you! I don’t like you! I don’t love you!" I don’t give a fuck on what he said to me as I already got enough of him. I just walked away and ignore him. I drive home alone by 12 midnight… which is quite a scary experience.

I do not contact him or miss him since that night because I do think that I deserved better and I’m not a maid. He did try to contact me many times after that incidence, he even use a different number to call my mobile as he knows that I won’t answer his call. After years, he messaged me in YAHOO MESSENGER and asked… HOW ARE YOU? YOU STILL HATE ME?? ARE YOU MARRIED? DO YOU HAVE A BF NOW? I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU AND KNOW HOW YOU DOING.

Ridiculous!!!!! Die far far lahhh.. I don’t believe such thing as"I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE DOING GOOD OR NOT" from those whoever HURT me.

Of course I don’t give a damn on such person. I can be damn stupid for a person at the first time … but not the second time to the same person. I think I might have some craziness or sickness in me… because all these crazy people always come to me.

I need a doctor, I think.

Sweet memory......

I read an article in the newspaper, it described the relationship between a girl and a guy, they not yet a couple. One day, the girl wanted to go to ATM and he accompanied her there. He was standing behind her when she is pressing on the machine. While she was waiting for the machine to respond, she saw his reflection on the ATM Machine and he was actually lifted up his hand and wanted to caress her long beautiful hair. The guy thought that she doesn't know about this.

This made me think of SOMEONE… I still remember how he smell on my hair by being so near behind me. Of course, I have no eyes at the back of my head, but I can feel his breath and his nose touching on my hair. It’s a very sweet thing to know if you are actually attracted to that person too. I still remember how fast my heartbeat was when I found that he is actually being so close to me with his arm almost touched on my waist…. :P

It brought the sweet memory back in me. It’s been a while that I do not have such sweet feelings… it’s time to search for the "soooooo sweet moments" again.

Happiness??????

How do you define... "HAPPINESS"???

I think women are pretty predictable in the old time as they want a stable and happy family with a caring husband and kids. That's what they called "HAPPINESS" in the old time. Not a single woman in the old time ever think that they do not want to have any kid as they do think this is their responsibility to bring the new lifes into this world and expanding the family tree. I can see that men are predictable as well as their purpose to have a girlfriend is to set up his own family. That's what the men in old time called..."HAPPINESS"

However, everything, everyone is getting more and more complicated in this new world. Family is no longer what people wanted in their life. There are so many new things for us to go after.... Marriage no longer is the goal for having a relationship. I'm still an old fashioned girl... I will want to go into marriage if I'm in a relationship. For me, that' s the HAPPINESS I would find in a relationship... If I do not love a person, I will not tolerate with anything... because I won't feel any pain if I just walk away.

People might stay together for the reason of...... try and see whether we can live well together or not. If we can get well, then we MARRY loh.... if cannot, just forget it and break up lohhh.... It's 100% an unfair thing in my thought... this is very irresponsible. Live together means SHE has to act like a WIFE... cleaning, ironing, cooking, fucking and etc. If HE is happy on you, then HE might marry you. If HE is not happy with you, or he found someone who he thought is better than you, then HE will dump you and go for another woman. Of course, this is the HAPPINESS which HE looking for as he bear no responsibility. By spending HER years on trying hard to be a good girlfriend, being a TRIAL WIFE... and SHE still didn't get the HAPPINESS that SHE wants in her life. Is this fair enough?

Of course, we do not rely on men so much nowadays. But deeply inside of our heart, a caring/lovely and durable on bed husband is still what we wish in our life. According to a research that I found in newspaper, the marriage rate in Malaysia dropped half for Year 2006 compare with Year2005. From 50,000 couples to half of it... Image...

Men, rather spend money to buy wife from Vietnam, Philipine, Indonesia... but do not want to marry the local ladies. Are we really that worse to be accepted?? Both men and women have different view on this issue. Men said..."women nowadays very demanding and controlling." Women said..."men nowadays no longer trustable and reliable." Both parties are pointing fingers at each others. Sighhh... is this our fault for being independent and demanding? If everything is good enough, who will want to battle in the field with men??

Found that not only me feel upset on the men nowadays... but some of my friends too... of course, they are not men.. LOLZ.... The world has no hope if men do feel disappointed on their ownself.

I do not understand men that well.... No matter in what aspect... Bet that I can predict men on bed... but not in their mind, their thinking, their behaviour...

I don't know......

I may looks MATURE....... But there are many things that I do not know or I do not know how to handle well... I might looks like a good teacher with patience... But I'm not... I do not lead good, I do not have good temper, I do not have patience and I'm not wise......

I don't know how to be a good daughter

I don't know how to be a good girl friend

I don't know how not to be demanding

I don't know how not to be controlling

I don't know how not to be speak loud

I don't know how not to be stubborn

I don't know how not to be fussy

I don't know how to be a soft speaker

I don't know how to speak in english as well as someone who been educated in english since young.

I don't know how to communicate

I don't know how to leave someone if I do love him/ her

What I only wish is someone tell me my future... What about a fortune teller?? What about a poker card reader?? What about a tarot card reader?? I think of everything that might able to give me a hint on what should I do to gather back myself. I lost my ownself. I don't know where I am.

If anyone ever see the girl in the photo above. Please do leave me a message here. Rewards will be given to those who found her in one piece. Please do not fool on this. Thank You

Have a Good Day.

I'm fragile......

Woman : Will you love me because I let you to fuck me??

Man : YES!

Woman : Will you marry me because I let you to fuck me??

Man : NO!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Man : Will you love me because I fuck you?

Woman : YES!

Man : Will you marry me because I fuck you?

Woman : YES!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Do not fuck me if you do not love me... Because I want to protect my fragile heart.

Thank You

Hate it......

Yeaaahhh...another "miang" photo of myself..... :P

What I hate most in my working life is.... office politics.... and holding high post. First of all, I'm not an ambition person... I do not wish to climb high to the ladder... Of course, I do not mind if you wanna give me high pay and little work... :P But this will not happend, what's happened here is, little pay with tons of work... LOLZ... I'm happy with what I'm doing now, but because my HOD is leaving the company soon... and the FC is expecting me to handle the department............ -__-" [ pengsan...]

FC & HOD are in war... the war in office. I'm in da middle and being the bridge of communication. Both of them do not want to talk to each other and everything have to go through me to either party. Suddenly I feel very pressure as I need to be very careful on every single word I use when I'm to pass the message.

I just hate OFFICE POLITICS!!!!!! Is there anywhere that has no OFFICE POLITICS???

"Miang"......

Just wanted to "miang" abit today...... I know lahhh... I'm "miang".... :P

Very tired, spend the 2 days holidays in PD, did nothing but eat and eat and eat... :P gotto back to normal life, go yoga, skip rope... diet... Ate lots of seafood these days, must control on my diet... worry that Mr.Gout will pay me a visit again... I don't like to see him as he made me suffer... Hate Mr. Gout.... However, I'm too terrible to control tightly on my diet... I will die if I got no egg, no seafood, no meat, no coffee, no chocolate... What a life without them!!!!

I miss da MARBLE CHEESECAKE... [even though I just had it on Monday... :P ]