Merdeka Day.. reminded me of the beautiful, breath taking fireworks. There was one of the year, we decided to spend our merdeka eve in KLCC. Dinner and count down for our merdeka day, we went there by LRT. After dinner, we went to the park just outside KLCC, chat while waiting for the precious moment to come. As the night coming to 12am... the crowd is building up as well.
So crowded, till we have to stick with each other closely, very close in case we lost either party. That time, everything are sweet and lovely for me, even though I have to stand there and waited for hours just to see the 10 minutes fireworks show. Finally, it was 12am!! The fireworks started come into our sight. It was very very beautiful, and it was so near like you can touch it by just raising you hand. So romantic, watching fireworks and hugged by someone who you are so in love with. It's one of the most memorable moments of us. I can never forget the night, the fireworks, the hug and the companion.
After I'm back to my single life, I never celebrate any of the IMPORTANT DAYS by going to those places. I would rather stay home or have a dinner with friends or even go for any movie. I can't bear to be back to my old memories. I'm afraid my tears are too naughty to control and flowing out from my beautiful eyes, just to see the old days I used to have. Every celebration days reminded me of my old sweet time. I'm still living in the shadow of him while he is enjoying his new companion, new life without me around.
Every good and bad things still haunting me like hungry ghosts. Wanted to take away my happiness and excitement, but leave me sadness. Wish.... I able to have someone who bring me back my happiness and excitement for those celebration days. New Year, Chinese New Year, Valentine's Day, Merdeka Day, My Birthday, Christmas.... These are the days I always try to avoid... avoid to remember the old memories.
When everyone are celebrating this Merdeka Day in cheers... I'm celebrating it with my own way.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Coffee Night....
I was rushing here and there for the whole day. I went to banks.. pay off the installments... pay off the debts... then.. I went to search for my lovely sister's pressie. I got her something very nice!!! Everyone also say it's nice when I show them :) So proud of my taste... hahahaha... Then I spend my afternoon at Jeannie's office. Chat, online and play game over there. Nothing to do over there, just the companion does count.
Suppose to have coffee with Jeannie and David, but.. They are joining another 2 couples.. total of 3 couples... I'm the left out one if I join in... I feel odd and I don't feel like joining them. So, I meet up wit Mr. J for coffee. The first time I meet with a net friend from different race. Not that I'm racist lah!!!! I just do not have chance to know someone who is so kind and nice from different race. He helped me on job searching when I'm jobless even we never meet each other. He really searching high and low for me. It is so kind of him. More like he is the jobless person over there. Hahahahha.... We always wanted to meet up, but he always unable to make it due to his works.
Out of expectation, we had a very very good time. We never run out of topic, the conversation just flow so smoothly. You won't expect that he got such sense of humour... and he is so open to any topics.. and we can talk on anything that just come into our mind. Wowww... I never expect the evening will be so enjoyable. Such a wonderful person he is. We talked about so many things. We talked about life, relationship, our experience on net friends meeting, travel experience, our friends, food, our working life.... bla bla bla. This is the best conversation I ever had with a guy from different race. Such a good experience eh. Good one! :)
He sms me when I got home. He told me that he enjoyed himself very much, and he told me that I looks more prettier than the photo. He said he feel glad to know someone who is so pretty and with good heart. Pretty or not is not the main point, but having the GOOD HEART means much to me :) I prefer to have a good heart.. who don't?? Right??
Such a wonderful evening that I never expected. Glad to know someone like this.
Thanks for the companion. I appreciate it.
Suppose to have coffee with Jeannie and David, but.. They are joining another 2 couples.. total of 3 couples... I'm the left out one if I join in... I feel odd and I don't feel like joining them. So, I meet up wit Mr. J for coffee. The first time I meet with a net friend from different race. Not that I'm racist lah!!!! I just do not have chance to know someone who is so kind and nice from different race. He helped me on job searching when I'm jobless even we never meet each other. He really searching high and low for me. It is so kind of him. More like he is the jobless person over there. Hahahahha.... We always wanted to meet up, but he always unable to make it due to his works.
Out of expectation, we had a very very good time. We never run out of topic, the conversation just flow so smoothly. You won't expect that he got such sense of humour... and he is so open to any topics.. and we can talk on anything that just come into our mind. Wowww... I never expect the evening will be so enjoyable. Such a wonderful person he is. We talked about so many things. We talked about life, relationship, our experience on net friends meeting, travel experience, our friends, food, our working life.... bla bla bla. This is the best conversation I ever had with a guy from different race. Such a good experience eh. Good one! :)
He sms me when I got home. He told me that he enjoyed himself very much, and he told me that I looks more prettier than the photo. He said he feel glad to know someone who is so pretty and with good heart. Pretty or not is not the main point, but having the GOOD HEART means much to me :) I prefer to have a good heart.. who don't?? Right??
Such a wonderful evening that I never expected. Glad to know someone like this.
Thanks for the companion. I appreciate it.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Tea time.......
It has been a month that I did not have tea with my KAKIz [good friends] @ mamak since I started work. Today, I make an effort to meet up with them for Pasar Malam and Mamak. It was so great!!!! We got so much to update each other, laughed out so loud... :)
I invited Elaine along for Pasar Malam. Hope that she did enjoy herself. I'm so happy to see my friends again. Miss them so much! My workloads are getting heavier, but still can handle it well. Tomorrow is Friday again, time flies. Times flies since I started work, it comes to the salary payout day already. YEHHHHHHH.....so happy... :P So fast eh, never noticed that it's already a month I have been in this company. I feel quite happy working in this company, colleagues are all ok, company benefits are great too, working environment not so bad, working location..cannot complain lah! Mid Valley wor... what to complain??? The only complain is... it's too tempting to work near SHOPPING COMPLEX!!! We always go for window shopping after lunch, and we always saw something we like and end up we will rush to get it after office hour!!! Terrible!!!! Horrible!!!!
Went for coffee with Lawrence last night. It was a great one. We chatted alots, laugh alots. He told me about his trip to Kenyir. He said he should bring me along and promised that I will love the peaceful environment. He bumped into his staffs in CoffeeBean @ Mont Kiara. We didn't join his staffs, but he bought his staff a piece of cake as last night was his staff's birthday. Such a lovely boss :) He send me home around 1130pm. He kissed on my cheeck when I'm about to leave his Estima. I'm shocked but I didn't say or do anything. He hold my hand and say goodbye to me. Another confusing case.
I feel better now, but still old. hahahhahaa.... Life is always up and down.
I invited Elaine along for Pasar Malam. Hope that she did enjoy herself. I'm so happy to see my friends again. Miss them so much! My workloads are getting heavier, but still can handle it well. Tomorrow is Friday again, time flies. Times flies since I started work, it comes to the salary payout day already. YEHHHHHHH.....so happy... :P So fast eh, never noticed that it's already a month I have been in this company. I feel quite happy working in this company, colleagues are all ok, company benefits are great too, working environment not so bad, working location..cannot complain lah! Mid Valley wor... what to complain??? The only complain is... it's too tempting to work near SHOPPING COMPLEX!!! We always go for window shopping after lunch, and we always saw something we like and end up we will rush to get it after office hour!!! Terrible!!!! Horrible!!!!
Went for coffee with Lawrence last night. It was a great one. We chatted alots, laugh alots. He told me about his trip to Kenyir. He said he should bring me along and promised that I will love the peaceful environment. He bumped into his staffs in CoffeeBean @ Mont Kiara. We didn't join his staffs, but he bought his staff a piece of cake as last night was his staff's birthday. Such a lovely boss :) He send me home around 1130pm. He kissed on my cheeck when I'm about to leave his Estima. I'm shocked but I didn't say or do anything. He hold my hand and say goodbye to me. Another confusing case.
I feel better now, but still old. hahahhahaa.... Life is always up and down.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Maybe... I'm old
I'm old I think.
because.....
I do not have passion on everything as I used to be.
I do not have interest on everything as I used to be.
I do not have the urge to have something new in my life.
I do not want to change my life style.
I do not want to take risks.
I do not want to do something that I do not familiar with.
I do not want to go somewhere that I do not know.
I do not feel touched on either small things or big things.
I no longer as sensitive as ever.
I no longer be in love so much as how much I love Eugene.
I no longer as impatient as I used to be.
I no longer as bad temper as I used to be.
I never find anyone that able to touched my heart as Eugene did.
I never feel happy as I used to be.
I can never feel the SWEETNESS when someone hold my hand.
I can never feel the EXCITEMENT when someone kissed me.
I can never feel the LOVE I used to have.
I can never feel someone appreciate me.
I can never feel someone's sincere heart.
I can never feel someone is willing to listen to me with his/ her open ears.
I can never feel the real friends are around me.
I always guess on someone's motives.
I always wonder is there any real friends around me.
I always hope my friends will appreciate me.
I always wish I got someone who appreciate my sincere heart 100%.
I always hide myself.
I always try to be as happy as I can.
I always shop alone.
I feel lonely always.
I feel upset always.
I feel not being loved always.
I feel down always.
I feel miserable always.
I feel lost always.
I feel..........
Aaawwwww... I'm OLD!!!
My feelings are NUMB. My heart is SORE. What I left with me???
because.....
I do not have passion on everything as I used to be.
I do not have interest on everything as I used to be.
I do not have the urge to have something new in my life.
I do not want to change my life style.
I do not want to take risks.
I do not want to do something that I do not familiar with.
I do not want to go somewhere that I do not know.
I do not feel touched on either small things or big things.
I no longer as sensitive as ever.
I no longer be in love so much as how much I love Eugene.
I no longer as impatient as I used to be.
I no longer as bad temper as I used to be.
I never find anyone that able to touched my heart as Eugene did.
I never feel happy as I used to be.
I can never feel the SWEETNESS when someone hold my hand.
I can never feel the EXCITEMENT when someone kissed me.
I can never feel the LOVE I used to have.
I can never feel someone appreciate me.
I can never feel someone's sincere heart.
I can never feel someone is willing to listen to me with his/ her open ears.
I can never feel the real friends are around me.
I always guess on someone's motives.
I always wonder is there any real friends around me.
I always hope my friends will appreciate me.
I always wish I got someone who appreciate my sincere heart 100%.
I always hide myself.
I always try to be as happy as I can.
I always shop alone.
I feel lonely always.
I feel upset always.
I feel not being loved always.
I feel down always.
I feel miserable always.
I feel lost always.
I feel..........
Aaawwwww... I'm OLD!!!
My feelings are NUMB. My heart is SORE. What I left with me???
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Nonsense......
Nothing much happened in my life lately... Do not feel like blogging on anything. Lawrence called me on Friday and told me that he is leaving to KENYIR for his holidays. Before he end the call, he told me that he miss me. He said he wanted to meet me when he is back from Kenyir. Were shocked when I heard he said he miss me with such a serious tone. It's because he never been talking to me like this since we know each other. But still, I always do not pay attention on someone until he take some action.
Human is always unpredictable. You would not know what's in their mind. Mr. DVD called up on friday as well, said wanna meet up with me. I asked him, why suddenly wanted to meet up? He said he miss me. This is why I said, human is unpredictable. Suddenly, there have so many people missing me. But there always got no one beside me when I need someone to comfort me.
I'm too tired on guessing someone's thinking. For example, Mr. A. I still have no idea what he want from me actually. He claimed that he do not want me to rely on him too much, in the emotional aspect. If I do not rely on you emotionally, I do not think that I love you. What is soulmate? Soulmate is someone who understand you more than anyone do. How to understand a person so much like no one could do? Sharing our emotion is the main factor. In order to be a soulmate, we need to understand someone from their emotional.. thinking. If I do not have the urge to understand you, to know what you thinking, to know how you feeling... Is this love?
Even though Mr. DVD wanted to meet me, but I unable to make it ealier as I went to Alice's place for the small party. We had a good time. It has been a long time that I did not catch up with her. It was very good. We had good food, good desserts, good alcohol and good laugh. Slightly drunk when driving home. I know it's dangerous, but who going to send me home if I do not drive home by myself? I got no one around me to take care of me.
Sometimes, it's upset to think that I got no one to support me, care of me, pampered me, love me... I means, someone who appreciate me, someone who worth for my love, someone who care of my feelings. I try my best to live my life even sometimes I do feel lonely and down. This is life i guess. Up and down. Unpredictable. Happy and sad.
It has been 2 years that I do not rely on someone so dreadfully. It's amazing that I able to standing by my own feet now. I used to rely one someone too much, I can't imagine what would I be if he left me. But, it proved that I can do it all by myself. I should be proud of myself! :) I know, I should be.
Someone send me this in email, I found that is meaningful.. and It can describe my feelings to those who come to me with no sincere heart.... Especially dedicated to Mr. A....
Never say I Love You...If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings...If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand...If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever...If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes...If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello...If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one...If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart...If you don't have the key
I need someone to take care of me emotionally. I need you.
Human is always unpredictable. You would not know what's in their mind. Mr. DVD called up on friday as well, said wanna meet up with me. I asked him, why suddenly wanted to meet up? He said he miss me. This is why I said, human is unpredictable. Suddenly, there have so many people missing me. But there always got no one beside me when I need someone to comfort me.
I'm too tired on guessing someone's thinking. For example, Mr. A. I still have no idea what he want from me actually. He claimed that he do not want me to rely on him too much, in the emotional aspect. If I do not rely on you emotionally, I do not think that I love you. What is soulmate? Soulmate is someone who understand you more than anyone do. How to understand a person so much like no one could do? Sharing our emotion is the main factor. In order to be a soulmate, we need to understand someone from their emotional.. thinking. If I do not have the urge to understand you, to know what you thinking, to know how you feeling... Is this love?
Even though Mr. DVD wanted to meet me, but I unable to make it ealier as I went to Alice's place for the small party. We had a good time. It has been a long time that I did not catch up with her. It was very good. We had good food, good desserts, good alcohol and good laugh. Slightly drunk when driving home. I know it's dangerous, but who going to send me home if I do not drive home by myself? I got no one around me to take care of me.
Sometimes, it's upset to think that I got no one to support me, care of me, pampered me, love me... I means, someone who appreciate me, someone who worth for my love, someone who care of my feelings. I try my best to live my life even sometimes I do feel lonely and down. This is life i guess. Up and down. Unpredictable. Happy and sad.
It has been 2 years that I do not rely on someone so dreadfully. It's amazing that I able to standing by my own feet now. I used to rely one someone too much, I can't imagine what would I be if he left me. But, it proved that I can do it all by myself. I should be proud of myself! :) I know, I should be.
Someone send me this in email, I found that is meaningful.. and It can describe my feelings to those who come to me with no sincere heart.... Especially dedicated to Mr. A....
Never say I Love You...If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings...If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand...If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever...If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes...If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello...If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one...If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart...If you don't have the key
I need someone to take care of me emotionally. I need you.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Cute & Lovely........
Been working for 3 weeks. Still being kinda free among my colleagues. Already got some works throwing on me, still can handle it well. Going well with my colleagues... One of my colleague said that I'm cute and lovely... Hahahaha... This is the best compliment I got from my new job. I'm looking forward for the better compliment... SMART, EFFICIENT, EFFECTIVE... This will be the best for me.
Lawrence asked me, "Is there anyone ever told you that you are cute but sexy?" I smile to him and didn't answer his question. Few person told me that I'm cute, few person told me that I'm sexy. I wondering how do they judge a person?
I never feel that I'm cute or sexy. I never think so. If I'm really that cute and lovely, why am I still being single & available eh??? Is that my problem? Am I too choosy? Or... my Mr.Right is not here yet for me?? I feel sour when most of my colleagues talking about their bf... I have no idea. It just remind me that, I used to have to talk about my bf to my colleagues too.
Drink more NESCAFE lah!!!! "open up~~~ open up~~~" hahahahhaa...this is a joke from Mr. David lah!!! That crazy fella, still so crazy even got married. Can't stop laughing at all his silly jokes.
I'm having a kinda tired and bored night here. Hey...tonight is the hungry ghost festive eh.. I back home @ 635pm... hahaha.. so early eh. :P I scared mah.... I don't want someone follow me home... Since got nothing to do in office, decided to go home ealier.
My lovely sister is coming back on 4th Sept, her birthday. I'm scratching my head on what to get her? Headache!!! Tomorrow is mom's birthday, Headache again! Very headache!!!!!
So many things that bothering my mind. Can't sleep well. I feel weird on myself, I'm missing someone that I never thought I will miss him.
Lawrence asked me, "Is there anyone ever told you that you are cute but sexy?" I smile to him and didn't answer his question. Few person told me that I'm cute, few person told me that I'm sexy. I wondering how do they judge a person?
I never feel that I'm cute or sexy. I never think so. If I'm really that cute and lovely, why am I still being single & available eh??? Is that my problem? Am I too choosy? Or... my Mr.Right is not here yet for me?? I feel sour when most of my colleagues talking about their bf... I have no idea. It just remind me that, I used to have to talk about my bf to my colleagues too.
Drink more NESCAFE lah!!!! "open up~~~ open up~~~" hahahahhaa...this is a joke from Mr. David lah!!! That crazy fella, still so crazy even got married. Can't stop laughing at all his silly jokes.
I'm having a kinda tired and bored night here. Hey...tonight is the hungry ghost festive eh.. I back home @ 635pm... hahaha.. so early eh. :P I scared mah.... I don't want someone follow me home... Since got nothing to do in office, decided to go home ealier.
My lovely sister is coming back on 4th Sept, her birthday. I'm scratching my head on what to get her? Headache!!! Tomorrow is mom's birthday, Headache again! Very headache!!!!!
So many things that bothering my mind. Can't sleep well. I feel weird on myself, I'm missing someone that I never thought I will miss him.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Happy Birthday... Mr.Uncle
Went for dinner and coffee with Mr.Uncle. It's his birthday tomorrow. We went for western food, the portion is so big... AMERICAN style. We unable to finished it again. hahahahhahaha..... After the AMERICAN portion of food... we are so full. We walk around the area... then the complex. The complex is quiet, no crowd at all. And that's why the air-con so COLD!! We walked around the complex coz we do not know where to go and it was only 8pm ++.
Then we decided to go to STARBUCKS. Mr. Uncle ordered a GREEN TEA ICE BLENDED DRINK and it taste so good!!! Exactly as the MACHA ice cream we had in SUSHIKING last time. We able to finished the large cup even we claimed that we are very full. We do not have the chance to have the cheesecake I bought for Mr. Uncle... coz.. we are very full mahhh... hahahahah...... So, Mr. Uncle brought home the cheesecake & the card I got him. :P
Really have no idea on what to buy for his birthday. Was eyed on something... but I have no idea will Mr. Uncle like it or not. So, I didn't get it. Feel bad on not getting him anything actually. :P Hope he doesn't mind. You won't mind, right? Mr. Uncle. :P I'll compensate it with the coming dinner in Planet Hollywood loh..ok? :)
It's very comfortable to have Mr.Uncle around. I just love to be with him. Even the quiet moments also consider as a good one. No need to think on some topics to chat on... No need to worry I will bored him... :) I love spending time with Mr. Uncle.
Happy Birthday, Mr.Uncle!!!!! muaksssssssssssssssssss
Then we decided to go to STARBUCKS. Mr. Uncle ordered a GREEN TEA ICE BLENDED DRINK and it taste so good!!! Exactly as the MACHA ice cream we had in SUSHIKING last time. We able to finished the large cup even we claimed that we are very full. We do not have the chance to have the cheesecake I bought for Mr. Uncle... coz.. we are very full mahhh... hahahahah...... So, Mr. Uncle brought home the cheesecake & the card I got him. :P
Really have no idea on what to buy for his birthday. Was eyed on something... but I have no idea will Mr. Uncle like it or not. So, I didn't get it. Feel bad on not getting him anything actually. :P Hope he doesn't mind. You won't mind, right? Mr. Uncle. :P I'll compensate it with the coming dinner in Planet Hollywood loh..ok? :)
It's very comfortable to have Mr.Uncle around. I just love to be with him. Even the quiet moments also consider as a good one. No need to think on some topics to chat on... No need to worry I will bored him... :) I love spending time with Mr. Uncle.
Happy Birthday, Mr.Uncle!!!!! muaksssssssssssssssssss
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Goshhh....... : ) ~~
OoOoOOo....my gosh!!!!! they are so god damn sexyyyyyyyyy.... SHIT... i'm horny!!! hahahahhaha
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Misc.......
What if... one day, you found that you kinda like a friend of yours??
What if... one day, you found that your feelings toward someone have faded away??
What if... one day, you found that you are abit too close with your best friend's hubby??
What if... one day.........
Suddenly, there has too many feelings come to me... What if... one day, I died... is there anyone cry for me? Mixture feelings... messed up mind... I do not know what I have in my mind now. Kinda messy.. all kind of thought.
*****
I saw a book in BORDERS. The book title ---> THE ANSWER BOOK FOR LOVE QUESTIONS. Sound interesting? :) Ya, it is. I read on it a little bit. The rule to use this book is like this...
1. Hold the book with your hands.
2. Concerntrate on the question you wanted to ask in your mind.
3. Open the book by following your heart.
4. Your answer for the question is showed on the page.
I try to play with it with few questions. The answers are... kinda match with what I should do actually. I always know the answer for my questions, it's just the matter of I want to go for it or not. This book is amazing. Not to say very accurate, but it's a good guide for a lady who lost in love. :) The book costs RM81.90. Beside this book, they also have another ANSWER BOOK for general questions that are not related to LOVE. Funny eh!! :)
*****
Tonight, I went for my favourite coffee @ coffee bean. Have been stay at home for a week due to HAZE. Never go for any outdoor meeting due to the HAZE. I feel so excited and happy that I finally can enjoy my coffee @ coffee bean :) I do so much talking coz I'm so happy. And it has been 2 weeks that I didn't meet up with Jeannie. A bit out of touch with her. It was a great coffee session anyway.
*****
Mama's birthday is coming soon. Where should I bring her for dinner? Headache.
What if... one day, you found that your feelings toward someone have faded away??
What if... one day, you found that you are abit too close with your best friend's hubby??
What if... one day.........
Suddenly, there has too many feelings come to me... What if... one day, I died... is there anyone cry for me? Mixture feelings... messed up mind... I do not know what I have in my mind now. Kinda messy.. all kind of thought.
*****
I saw a book in BORDERS. The book title ---> THE ANSWER BOOK FOR LOVE QUESTIONS. Sound interesting? :) Ya, it is. I read on it a little bit. The rule to use this book is like this...
1. Hold the book with your hands.
2. Concerntrate on the question you wanted to ask in your mind.
3. Open the book by following your heart.
4. Your answer for the question is showed on the page.
I try to play with it with few questions. The answers are... kinda match with what I should do actually. I always know the answer for my questions, it's just the matter of I want to go for it or not. This book is amazing. Not to say very accurate, but it's a good guide for a lady who lost in love. :) The book costs RM81.90. Beside this book, they also have another ANSWER BOOK for general questions that are not related to LOVE. Funny eh!! :)
*****
Tonight, I went for my favourite coffee @ coffee bean. Have been stay at home for a week due to HAZE. Never go for any outdoor meeting due to the HAZE. I feel so excited and happy that I finally can enjoy my coffee @ coffee bean :) I do so much talking coz I'm so happy. And it has been 2 weeks that I didn't meet up with Jeannie. A bit out of touch with her. It was a great coffee session anyway.
*****
Mama's birthday is coming soon. Where should I bring her for dinner? Headache.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Crying out of love.....
Sometimes... I will think, is there anyone who will love someone sincerely with his heart. This movie, tell me the answer ..... YES.
--> CRYING OUT OF LOVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORLD... bring me back to the deep memories I had, but I choosed not to remember them. Eugene, the one who ever been so meaningful in my life. I should say thanks to Eugene, I have been in such great life with him around. Suddenly, all the memories of us come back to me. Our first time meeting... Our first Birthday Celebration... Our first hand holding... Our first kiss... Our first Christmas Celebration... Our first Chinese New Year... Everything is just like yesterday.
"In love, we find eternity in one moment. In love, we accomplish everything and achieve everything. In love, we are better than we will ever be, or hope to be. Just to be in love" These are Mr. Uncle's words, they are so meaningful. It's exactly what we are while in love. Everything is possible, nothing is impossible.
If one day, I'm dying... will I have someone that I love beside me? Of cause, my family will be with me no matter what. Life is so cruel... yet so beautiful. It let you tasted the sweetness of Love, but always have to sacrify something in return. No matter what we have to sacrify for exchange, I know we will do it for love.
Why is love so hurt? Why is love so pain........
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Maybe.... I'm an angel......
I feel much better. Maybe.. I'm the angel for them. When they are down and lonely, they have me around to cheer up their life. At least, I know they feel comfortable and happy while they are with me. To Mr. A & those who neglected me because they have new gf, I'm glad to know you all. I will never forget the happy moments we had.
Mr. Uncle told me that sincere heart is precious. Ya, I'm precious. My heart is precious too. Just like the LORD OF THE RING, it's so precious but not everyone know how to manage it well. There has someone who appreciate my sincere heart. I know Jeannie does, Mr. Uncle does, Kenneth does, Lisa does, my mama does, my sister does, Nicholas does, Mr. Peter does........ I still have them around me, cherish my smile and my laughter and sometimes.. my stupid jokes too... :)
Ya, I'm always the angel for those who are lonely and lost, but I got no angel around me to guide me, to cheer up my life. I wonder where my angel is... Are you around me? Maybe you are around, but I can't see you as how my friends are. Maybe you feel upset as I never appreciate you...
Everyone has an angel around them, it's just the matter they see it or not... and now, where are you? my angel.....
Mr. Uncle told me that sincere heart is precious. Ya, I'm precious. My heart is precious too. Just like the LORD OF THE RING, it's so precious but not everyone know how to manage it well. There has someone who appreciate my sincere heart. I know Jeannie does, Mr. Uncle does, Kenneth does, Lisa does, my mama does, my sister does, Nicholas does, Mr. Peter does........ I still have them around me, cherish my smile and my laughter and sometimes.. my stupid jokes too... :)
Ya, I'm always the angel for those who are lonely and lost, but I got no angel around me to guide me, to cheer up my life. I wonder where my angel is... Are you around me? Maybe you are around, but I can't see you as how my friends are. Maybe you feel upset as I never appreciate you...
Everyone has an angel around them, it's just the matter they see it or not... and now, where are you? my angel.....
Confused again....
I really do not know what's in his mind.. He is giving me a cold shoulder. I did not get his good night call since sunday night till today... 4 days. Do not mentioned about sms, the emails from him also getting lesser and lesser... I think needless to wait till my birthday, I already can announced the end. I'm not sure what's happened to Mr. A, I feel been neglected. Maybe he found another girl as my friends too. And that's why I'm being neglected... Sigh... What's happened on me again??? I'm so confused.. I do not know what he wants. I feel so down..
I do not know what he wants...
I do not know what he wants...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
The City of HAZE.........
The City of Haze ---> Kuala Lumpur!!!!!!!!!!!! I was sick yesterday, and was on MC in the 2nd week of my new job. Sighh... Bad Impression!!!!! BAD BAD BAD!!!! I took these photos when I'm on my way home after work. I feel like I'm in London [only while I'm in my car and looking out from my car].. enjoying the winter. But the winter in KL is smelly... sickening... and make me feel like vomit. Cough & sneeze like hell nowadays. Flu, sore throat, fever, cold... all come to me and say HELLO!
The haze is terrible, it's very serious. Government should announce for EMERGENCY HOLIDAYS for those affected cities like Kuala Lumpur, Klang, Shah Alam, Putrajaya, Cyberjaya and so on. Not only closed the schools, but also take consideration of us --> who working whole day long outside. Due to the selfiness of taking care of the country's economy, our lovely government won't announce for EMERGENCY HOLIDAYS for us. They rather watching us get sick than affected on the economy. oOOoOOo...mayb I'm the one who is selfish... I only care of my own health... :P
Anyway, the haze made me feel uneasy.. I hate it!!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I need someone to love me too.....
I'm so disappointed on myself... What have I did to bring me this fate?? Do I really not worth for someone to love me with sincere heart? Do I really not worth for someone to treat me with their true love?
When they do not have someone, they always come to me. When they need companion, they always call me. When they feel lonely, they always think of me. When they need a pair of ear, they always remember me. But why they never think of my feelings when they neglected me because of their new gf? Why they never care of my feelings when this happened? I'm just a stepping stone, I know. I treat them with my sincere heart, being their friend, their close friend. Being with them whenever they need me. And they just kick me off or neglected me when they found a new gf. Missing in action 100% not even bother to give me a notice.
Not that I wanted to gain something from any of my friends, I just feel disappointed to those guys. Yes, when they have no one, I'm the best and always the best they can have. Using my sincere heart for friends to pass through their lonely period. After they found someone, they neglected me immediately. When I call or sms them, they just tell.. "Ohhh ya.. I got new gf liao.." FUCK!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!! I'm not jealous over her, but please... to fire a staff also got notice to be given out!!
I treat you as a friend with my heart, I treat you like my buddy, I accompany you whenever you said you are bored, I remember your birthday and even accompany you when I know you got no one to celebrate with you, I listen to your complains, I talk to you in da midnight when you feel lonely.... And this is what I got from you guys.. FINE!!!! FINE!!!!
You are not the only one, and I got too many of friends behaved like this to me... I love them with my heart, and it's like giving my heart to a bastard or a dog!!!! I'm getting more & more disappointed on those guys friends I have!!! I can't stop calling you as a bastard... cause you asked me to be your 2nd gf even you already have a new one!!!! I do not mind you neglected me because you got a fucking new gf... but what are you taking me as?? SHIT!!!! I can't control myself now... I'm so angry!!!! I hate guys!!!! I hate them!!!!!
Why am I always be used???? Why am I always be the one??? Why this happened to me so often??? Why????????? Why???????????????
I'm also a girl... a very ordinary girl. I also need friendship, I also need a relationship, I also need someone to love me with his sincere heart. I'm not for you guys to used... I got my own feelings. Why you guys love to hurt me as entertainment?? Why is my feelings not worth to take into consideration??? Why you guys love to take me as the second one, but never love me as the only one? What have I did?? What made me to be at this situation?? Why is this happened to me always??? WHY!?!??!?!?!!?
Anyone, please answer me.... I need to know... I do....
It's hurt.. and I've been hurt for too many times ........................................
When they do not have someone, they always come to me. When they need companion, they always call me. When they feel lonely, they always think of me. When they need a pair of ear, they always remember me. But why they never think of my feelings when they neglected me because of their new gf? Why they never care of my feelings when this happened? I'm just a stepping stone, I know. I treat them with my sincere heart, being their friend, their close friend. Being with them whenever they need me. And they just kick me off or neglected me when they found a new gf. Missing in action 100% not even bother to give me a notice.
Not that I wanted to gain something from any of my friends, I just feel disappointed to those guys. Yes, when they have no one, I'm the best and always the best they can have. Using my sincere heart for friends to pass through their lonely period. After they found someone, they neglected me immediately. When I call or sms them, they just tell.. "Ohhh ya.. I got new gf liao.." FUCK!!!! FUCK OFF!!!!! I'm not jealous over her, but please... to fire a staff also got notice to be given out!!
I treat you as a friend with my heart, I treat you like my buddy, I accompany you whenever you said you are bored, I remember your birthday and even accompany you when I know you got no one to celebrate with you, I listen to your complains, I talk to you in da midnight when you feel lonely.... And this is what I got from you guys.. FINE!!!! FINE!!!!
You are not the only one, and I got too many of friends behaved like this to me... I love them with my heart, and it's like giving my heart to a bastard or a dog!!!! I'm getting more & more disappointed on those guys friends I have!!! I can't stop calling you as a bastard... cause you asked me to be your 2nd gf even you already have a new one!!!! I do not mind you neglected me because you got a fucking new gf... but what are you taking me as?? SHIT!!!! I can't control myself now... I'm so angry!!!! I hate guys!!!! I hate them!!!!!
Why am I always be used???? Why am I always be the one??? Why this happened to me so often??? Why????????? Why???????????????
I'm also a girl... a very ordinary girl. I also need friendship, I also need a relationship, I also need someone to love me with his sincere heart. I'm not for you guys to used... I got my own feelings. Why you guys love to hurt me as entertainment?? Why is my feelings not worth to take into consideration??? Why you guys love to take me as the second one, but never love me as the only one? What have I did?? What made me to be at this situation?? Why is this happened to me always??? WHY!?!??!?!?!!?
Anyone, please answer me.... I need to know... I do....
It's hurt.. and I've been hurt for too many times ........................................
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Shopping Freak.....
Even though I been walking around in Mid Valley everyday since 1st August 2005, but there still has something for me to shop on. I brough my mama to Mid Valley for shopping today as she requested :P Namely, she wanted to shop around for her sport shoe... end up I'm the one who got many things from the Mega Sales -__-"
--> 2 bras @ RM60 [Cheap eh!!! :P but I already got 2 new bras by the end of July...]
--> 5 pieces of panties [ :P Errr...can't remember the price, I think they cost around RM40.00 ]
--> 1 formal working shirt @ RM29.90 [More cheap!!! ]
--> 1 pair of high heel shoe @ RM47.89 [It's very sweet, irresistable...]
Mama only got 2 bras, and bought some groceries.... Didn't able to walk around and get some more clothes as the 2 monsters are around, kinda hard to shop with them.
Errr... Actually I wanted to get another pair of high heel shoe which I eyed on long time.. But since I got this sweet looking shoe, I think I have to give up on that pair. But.. I really like that pair I eyed on... it cost RM49.90. Sighh.... Maybe I can buy it when I got my pay ya!!! YES!!!! Kakakakakakakakaa..... :P
I also saw a skirt from DOROTHY PERKINS, cost RM106.00, kinda expensive and only discounted RM20.00 from the original price. They also have a 3/4 casual pant @ RM79.00 which is worth for value Emmm.. still thinking on it. And I need few more working pants... and my Shiseido Moisturizer is finishing... arghhhh...too many to buy, too little cash!!! :P
Control!!!!!!!!! You have to control your hands!!!!
Control yourself!!!!
** see how sweet it is.... how to resist..right?? :P
--> 2 bras @ RM60 [Cheap eh!!! :P but I already got 2 new bras by the end of July...]
--> 5 pieces of panties [ :P Errr...can't remember the price, I think they cost around RM40.00 ]
--> 1 formal working shirt @ RM29.90 [More cheap!!! ]
--> 1 pair of high heel shoe @ RM47.89 [It's very sweet, irresistable...]
Mama only got 2 bras, and bought some groceries.... Didn't able to walk around and get some more clothes as the 2 monsters are around, kinda hard to shop with them.
Errr... Actually I wanted to get another pair of high heel shoe which I eyed on long time.. But since I got this sweet looking shoe, I think I have to give up on that pair. But.. I really like that pair I eyed on... it cost RM49.90. Sighh.... Maybe I can buy it when I got my pay ya!!! YES!!!! Kakakakakakakakaa..... :P
I also saw a skirt from DOROTHY PERKINS, cost RM106.00, kinda expensive and only discounted RM20.00 from the original price. They also have a 3/4 casual pant @ RM79.00 which is worth for value Emmm.. still thinking on it. And I need few more working pants... and my Shiseido Moisturizer is finishing... arghhhh...too many to buy, too little cash!!! :P
Control!!!!!!!!! You have to control your hands!!!!
Control yourself!!!!
** see how sweet it is.... how to resist..right?? :P
Thursday, August 04, 2005
This is cool.....
Today, while I'm working, I received an email from Mr. Uncle... At 1st, I unable to see anything but only tons of --> IOIOIOIOOOOIIOOOIOIOIOIO Then only I realised the TITLE of his email is... I DO THIS THE WHOLE NIGHT TILL 6am. I'm still blur, why Mr. Uncle work till so early??? Is it very rush or urgent? The I just reply him, "wah!! why work till so late??? You can't sleep ah??" Then he asked me whether IT looks not right? I were blur, then I saw an attached file in his mail. I opened it and I saw myself in the file!!!! It is me!!!! my face all build with IOIOIOIOIOOOIIOOOOOIIOIIOOOOIOIOIOOI.... walaueh!!!!! No wonder Mr. Uncle send me this!!! THIS IS SO COOL!!!!!!
I feel so touched and so excited when I saw it... :P The photo is really cool!! I love it so much!!!!! Too bad the IOIOIOIO can't be seen here... too bad... :(
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Welcome Lunch......
They had a welcome lunch for me :) We went to Madam Kwan for our lunch. This is the only time that I'm able to have a little talk with my colleagues in finance department. They told me that they are very busy and that's why got no time to talk to me in the office. I said, I understand and I did see that you all are busy too. I feel great that I'm finally able to talk with my department's colleagues. I'm trying my best to bring up some topics to chat with those girls. Luckily they did try to talk to me too... I'm kinda happy. And finally, I got my own stationeries from the Admin Dept, and I felt that I'm finally a part of Synovate. At last, I'm not feeling so left out and unwanted.
We went in a bunch of girls, total of 11, all from the same department. Yes!!! My department are filled up with GIRLS ONLY!!! Today, I got something to do, verifying claims. I'm happy even they are only simple and easy job. At least, I do not have to sit there and feel sleepy. I did not feel sleepy at all today :)
Again, Mr. A & I, emailing each other like having chat. But since I got some work and he is kinda bz, we cut off abit today... Went for tea with Kenneth, it has been some time that we did not keep in touch with each other. We laughed so loud in the mamak stall... It's always nice to chat and talk nonsense with him :P Such a joker and he always is!!!
Nikon coolpix S1.... when only will I owned you!?!?!?!? I'm so urge for you... I wanna have you now... I need you so much.. Please, come to me... Please..... I need you so badly!!!!!
Tomolo will be another day... another beautiful day!!! :)
We went in a bunch of girls, total of 11, all from the same department. Yes!!! My department are filled up with GIRLS ONLY!!! Today, I got something to do, verifying claims. I'm happy even they are only simple and easy job. At least, I do not have to sit there and feel sleepy. I did not feel sleepy at all today :)
Again, Mr. A & I, emailing each other like having chat. But since I got some work and he is kinda bz, we cut off abit today... Went for tea with Kenneth, it has been some time that we did not keep in touch with each other. We laughed so loud in the mamak stall... It's always nice to chat and talk nonsense with him :P Such a joker and he always is!!!
Nikon coolpix S1.... when only will I owned you!?!?!?!? I'm so urge for you... I wanna have you now... I need you so much.. Please, come to me... Please..... I need you so badly!!!!!
Tomolo will be another day... another beautiful day!!! :)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Working days.....
Today is the second day I started my new job... I'm still the most free person in the department... Reading on documents, clicking here & there with my mouse.. Browsing on the accounting software and went through all the information they have in the PC. So boring!!!!
I were so bored and I found the best entertainment I can have in office, EMAIL!!!!! hahahahaha... Before this great idea, Mr. A & me keep sending sms... and my credit gone so fast :P After I found this great way, we start sending emails to each other like mad person... Non Stop!!! Just like how we chatting in msn.. But Mr.A warned me that the server might have the copy of our emails. Opsss.... I forgot about this. But since we already send tons of emails to each other, what else can I do beside keep it on? hahahahaha... So my main job today is, waiting for Mr. A's email.... LOLZ. He called me and chat when we are on our way home, laugh all the way home. Last night went out with Mr. A, for a cup of coffee, nothing much.. but I found that I'm not that keen to have anything with him already... I'm very easy to give in but I'm also easy to give up on someone... hahahahhaaha... terrible me :P
Eeeemmm... I found out something in these 2 days... Not that I wanna give such comment on those BIG COMPANY... they are good in term of staffs' future and staffs' benefit. But one thing they are not so good is, the relationship within old and new staffs. Old staffs tends to have their own group and it is not easy for a new staff to slot into the group... and that's why the new staffs will feel left out and only hang out with the new staffs. For my case, It explained this exactly... I ate my lunch alone at the 1st day as the new staffs got friends to accompany them for lunch, so I left out and be alone. Then today, I went for lunch with a new staff and we did talk about this, she also feel the same. And we are now kinda close cause we got no choice but stick together :) Her name is Elaine Ng, HR Executive, sitting very near to me :) We even exchanged phone number... She is very friendly and nice as me. Kakakakakaka....
My working hours is from 9am- 530pm. I think they also the same, but I never see anyone packing and go home by 530pm sharp.. scary eh!!! I don't dare to pack on 530pm sharp at all! I normally pack by 6pm since I got nothing to do. And I'm the 1st person who leave in the department when it's 6pm :P I'm wondering how it will be after I take over on my job. Eeemm.. according my effiecient working speed, I think I'm capable to make myself not to work after 7pm guaaaaaa... Hahahahahaha... Hopefully.
So far, nothing happened lah... SO FAR SO GOOD... Will update ya! :)
I were so bored and I found the best entertainment I can have in office, EMAIL!!!!! hahahahaha... Before this great idea, Mr. A & me keep sending sms... and my credit gone so fast :P After I found this great way, we start sending emails to each other like mad person... Non Stop!!! Just like how we chatting in msn.. But Mr.A warned me that the server might have the copy of our emails. Opsss.... I forgot about this. But since we already send tons of emails to each other, what else can I do beside keep it on? hahahahaha... So my main job today is, waiting for Mr. A's email.... LOLZ. He called me and chat when we are on our way home, laugh all the way home. Last night went out with Mr. A, for a cup of coffee, nothing much.. but I found that I'm not that keen to have anything with him already... I'm very easy to give in but I'm also easy to give up on someone... hahahahhaaha... terrible me :P
Eeeemmm... I found out something in these 2 days... Not that I wanna give such comment on those BIG COMPANY... they are good in term of staffs' future and staffs' benefit. But one thing they are not so good is, the relationship within old and new staffs. Old staffs tends to have their own group and it is not easy for a new staff to slot into the group... and that's why the new staffs will feel left out and only hang out with the new staffs. For my case, It explained this exactly... I ate my lunch alone at the 1st day as the new staffs got friends to accompany them for lunch, so I left out and be alone. Then today, I went for lunch with a new staff and we did talk about this, she also feel the same. And we are now kinda close cause we got no choice but stick together :) Her name is Elaine Ng, HR Executive, sitting very near to me :) We even exchanged phone number... She is very friendly and nice as me. Kakakakakaka....
My working hours is from 9am- 530pm. I think they also the same, but I never see anyone packing and go home by 530pm sharp.. scary eh!!! I don't dare to pack on 530pm sharp at all! I normally pack by 6pm since I got nothing to do. And I'm the 1st person who leave in the department when it's 6pm :P I'm wondering how it will be after I take over on my job. Eeemm.. according my effiecient working speed, I think I'm capable to make myself not to work after 7pm guaaaaaa... Hahahahahaha... Hopefully.
So far, nothing happened lah... SO FAR SO GOOD... Will update ya! :)
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