The BBQ Night......

What should I tell about the BBQ Night?

The gathering was OK, as it has been a while that we gather together and chit chat and laugh around, play around. Work has been every tough for everyone. Some of them resigned from the company and enjoy their life, some of us still suffering in the company. But still, we do keep in touch and try to gather together even it’s not an easy thing to make it as our workloads are like shit!

I had my good time with my colleagues.

My honey went to the gathering with me. How to describe on what I saw? I do love my honey of course. I do not expect him to be that socialize to mix around so fast and jokes with everyone. Helping around do not need to know everyone in the gathering. However, he is too passive, just sitting beside me or walking here and there and do nothing. When I asked him to help my colleagues, he will walk over and watch. This is not helping, Honey.

I expected you will help around but you didn’t. You do really enjoy your food and forgot to “take care” of your gf. You are too busy with your food and do not have time to help those who been cooking the food for so long time. I understand that you do not know them well, but we do not need to know that person well to give a helping hand. I understand that you do not feel easy because we do speak Cantonese sometimes, but we do speak English most of the time too.

Didn’t you notice that I keep asking you to help them when they are trying to start the fire? But, looks like my words are not going into your mind but your ears only.

I think, the principle we having in ourselves are very different. The “terms” for RELATIONSHIP that we are having are totally different too.

Maybe I’m selfish. Ya, maybe.

For me, I do not expect my bf to do much for me. At least, being…..

Gentleman
Caring [not to everyone]
Generous on me [not for buying me big diamond of course]
Helpful
Kind
Sense of humour
Love me
Take care of me
Socialize

I did not see, Gentleman, Helpful, Take care of me, Generous on me, in the BBQ Night. I’m not complaining, I just wondering is this is because that you feel uneasy or this is the real you? You can even leave me alone to Ikea while I wanted to buy a shelf and curtain rod. Yes, I can take the items by myself, but does it fit the terms of Helpful and Take care of me? If, I still have to handle this alone, what is a bf for? I still have to taking care of this by myself.. Why do I need a bf?

I do wonder, how well will you help when I’m moving my house? Only help me to move my book? My soft toys? Or, my study table? Or, you will be too tired and need some rest after moving for some of my CDs?

Maybe it’s true that this is a COMPANIONSHIP than RELATIONSHIP for you. That’s why I did not see the TERMS that you able to be fit in. Yes, of course you are a very kind person, you do have sense of humour if you know that person, maybe you do love me too but I’m not sure about it.

Companionship is not what I’m looking for. I’m expecting a Relationship. A real committed relationship. Maybe I’m too selfish to expect too much from you. But, this is what I saw from the night, and I do feel disappointed along the night.

The night was great, but I do not feel happy.