MIRACLE!!!!!!

Old folks said..."XIANG MA BU HAO KOU" which means, there has no good words come out from us whenever one another are arguing. Can't deny the truth is as described in the statement above.

We argued, and there has many unbearable words came out from us... Hurt or not? Is there any bad words that is not hurting? Ha! I doubted on it.

What we argued about? Too many to argue... too many issues. After this huge arguement, only I realised, how many issues I'm trying to take and hide. They became a BOOM in me, and there come the arguement. I always thought I can take it and accept it, but when it come to my limits.. the BOOM exploded. I over estimated my patience. I over estimated our relationship.

Maybe, we should talk more... we should understand each other more... we should think for each other more, we should understand each other's feelings, we should care of each other more, we should know each other better......

Maybe, I should be more tolerate, I should be more patience, I should be more understanding, I should be more ignorance, I should be take it more easier, I should be more "WHO CARES" attitude......

But, will this work? Will this help?? I wonder.

By counting on the months of me working in my current company, only I realised that we know each other for almost a year. The memories still fresh in my mind. I still remember how we met, the 1st meeting. Our 1st face to face conversation. Our 1st dirty joke. Our 1st movie. Our 1st time of holding hand. Our 1st time kissing. Hardly to wipe them off from my memories. It's not easy.

I always thought that we only know each other for a short period, coz I didn't really count on it. My busy job made me so occupied and never notice how time flies pass me. It might be a good thing that you are too busy to realised that time flies so speedy, so you forgot how old you are as well. Hahahahaha... Ya, do not ask me how old am I. I'm too old to tell you my age, Darling. Age is always the secret for ladies. But, I'm lucky... I still looks good at my age [Not so bad lah, at least I'm still a young lady, not yet an AUNTY]. LOLZ Seriously, I'm worry on how I looks like when I'm an AUNTY... HORRIBLE!!!! But, I can be a HOT AUNTY... hahahahaha.... Many HOT AUNTIES nowadays. Of course, I wanna be the HIGH CLASS HOT AUNTY! :P

Ops, out of topic.

Time & Understanding. These are what he requested from me. I already did my best on them. I wonder how far can I take it. I do love him.. or else, I already excuse myself when I know his mommy. I try to be understanding, try to give him time to deal with it. I know that he has his hard time too. But, I unable to see a clue to change someone who already been stubborn for her 60 years. Unless, MIRACLE happened on me. GOD!! send me a MIRACLE then!! Would you??? But I think, there are billions of people in this world need HIS help than me. I'm too good life to have the MIRACLE. I rather give the MIRACLE to those who are starving in the world. Ignore this MIRACLE I requested then.

How long time I have to bear with this? Do I really deserve it? Maybe my face is too ugly for her to accept. Maybe my face is too fuck off for her son. I do not know her that well, but I'm not that bad in senses. I can sense whether a people like or dislike me... I think this is absolutely normal for a person to know whether someone like her or hate her. I'm not taking her son away from her. I'm not going to murder her son or rape him. I wonder, what I did wrongly and made her dislike me so much. He always told me that, this is not personal. Awww... I wish I can take this well.

I'm lost, I lost my confidence, I lost my patience... I lost my LC attitude. I lose. I lose to an old lady.. that able to test me well. Not even my mom tested me like this. I can't handle it well.. I lost my good temper, my good manners, my smile. GOD might think that I have been having such a good life since I'm born, HE think HE should give me some tests, some challenges. All HIS tests tested me on relationship. That made me almost giving up on being in love... But I always have to courage to be in love again and again.. hahahaha... that's the worse.

Nevermind lah... let's see how's thing goes. You requested time? I give it to you. You requested Understading? I try. I wish there will be something that able to show me the difference. I wish I won't be so disappointed again and again. Not that I'm unable to see what you did.. I saw. Or else, I won't standing beside you for months.

Miracle... Do I need it to make this relationship last forever. I'm thinking of forever with you. I'm not thinking of MONTHS.