Distance.......

There has one well said among those readers or non readers of this lady writer from Hong Kong - "The most far distance in this world is not due to we located seperately in north and south, but, you do not know that I LOVE YOU when I'm standing beside you. " 世界上最遥远的距离不是你我天隔一方， 而是你不知道我爱你。I never doubt on this statement. It's a statement right now. Telling us the fact, the truth.

Distance is always the most cruel test for couples. It test on how strong your love is, it test on how good you can handle your loneliness, it test on how patient you are, it test on how loyal you are in this relationship, it test on every possible things that you can ever imagine. I used to have a distance bf from Australia. I cried on the phone when I miss him. I called to Australia just to listen to his voice. Luckily, we already have email that time. We are so in love when he is in Australia. Everything became so romantic due to the distance. I always post him some small gifts, cards and letters. He was so touched when he got all these from me. He did the same too. Wrote me love letters through email or post. Everything is so beautiful, even you have to wait for an unknown future. But everything changed when he is back from Australia. The feelings is no longer like what we had. We are more like stranger than lover. We became so distance even we are socalled couple. This is so upset and we decided to break off. Both of us hurt. Distance.. it can make everything to be beautiful. When we face to face, we couldn't find the beautiful feelings and feel disappointed. And everything end up looks so ugly.

Ever since then, I never be in any distance relationship till this 'short term bf of mine' decided to back to his hometown and help up his family in the business. To be frank, I'm not a strong person, I can't handle my loneliness well. I need companion always. His decision made me re-think on the relationship and I no longer feel the same even he did make his effort to visit me whenever he has time. My feelings towards him faded away as time goes by. I broke off with him. He rushed to my office the next morning after I told him my decision. Not that I do not feel touched, but I really can't take distance relationship as others. Distance, will bring your feelings away too.

Got once, Eugene was send to Penang Branch for couple of month. We missed each other so much, we talked in the phone almost every night, we sms each other like crazy. Our phone bill is high like our Twin Tower. I feel lonely but I still manage to take it as I planned to fly over to spend our holidays in Penang. We took leave and enjoy our holidays so much. Of course, short term seperation is always good for couple. We are more in love when we see each other again after months of seperation. That was a very good holidays we had.

Now, I have to test myself with this distance thing. I need to know how much I will miss him when he is away. I need to make it clear with myself. Someone told me that this is always the best time to tell yourself how much he meant to you. Needless to tell, I already feel down when it's getting near for him to leave KL. I know... I know we have this INTERNET, EMAILS, MSN MESSENGER... bla bla bla... But it still not the same when you know that he is not in the same city as you. Don't ask me why I feel so. That's what I feel.

I already start missing him. I already feeling down. I already feel like seeing him more before he leave. Helpless... I feel helpless when come to this. No need to wait till after he leave, I can tell you that I will definately, surely, 100% miss him very much. I hate when someone I care leave me alone......