Nonsense......

Nothing much happened in my life lately... Do not feel like blogging on anything. Lawrence called me on Friday and told me that he is leaving to KENYIR for his holidays. Before he end the call, he told me that he miss me. He said he wanted to meet me when he is back from Kenyir. Were shocked when I heard he said he miss me with such a serious tone. It's because he never been talking to me like this since we know each other. But still, I always do not pay attention on someone until he take some action.

Human is always unpredictable. You would not know what's in their mind. Mr. DVD called up on friday as well, said wanna meet up with me. I asked him, why suddenly wanted to meet up? He said he miss me. This is why I said, human is unpredictable. Suddenly, there have so many people missing me. But there always got no one beside me when I need someone to comfort me.

I'm too tired on guessing someone's thinking. For example, Mr. A. I still have no idea what he want from me actually. He claimed that he do not want me to rely on him too much, in the emotional aspect. If I do not rely on you emotionally, I do not think that I love you. What is soulmate? Soulmate is someone who understand you more than anyone do. How to understand a person so much like no one could do? Sharing our emotion is the main factor. In order to be a soulmate, we need to understand someone from their emotional.. thinking. If I do not have the urge to understand you, to know what you thinking, to know how you feeling... Is this love?

Even though Mr. DVD wanted to meet me, but I unable to make it ealier as I went to Alice's place for the small party. We had a good time. It has been a long time that I did not catch up with her. It was very good. We had good food, good desserts, good alcohol and good laugh. Slightly drunk when driving home. I know it's dangerous, but who going to send me home if I do not drive home by myself? I got no one around me to take care of me.

Sometimes, it's upset to think that I got no one to support me, care of me, pampered me, love me... I means, someone who appreciate me, someone who worth for my love, someone who care of my feelings. I try my best to live my life even sometimes I do feel lonely and down. This is life i guess. Up and down. Unpredictable. Happy and sad.

It has been 2 years that I do not rely on someone so dreadfully. It's amazing that I able to standing by my own feet now. I used to rely one someone too much, I can't imagine what would I be if he left me. But, it proved that I can do it all by myself. I should be proud of myself! :) I know, I should be.

Someone send me this in email, I found that is meaningful.. and It can describe my feelings to those who come to me with no sincere heart.... Especially dedicated to Mr. A....

Never say I Love You...If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings...If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand...If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever...If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes...If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello...If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one...If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart...If you don't have the key


I need someone to take care of me emotionally. I need you.